{"id":18561,"date":"2021-01-11T17:52:42","date_gmt":"2021-01-11T22:52:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.andiemitchell.com\/?p=18561"},"modified":"2021-08-12T08:59:12","modified_gmt":"2021-08-12T12:59:12","slug":"having-a-baby-with-colic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.andiemitchell.com\/having-a-baby-with-colic\/","title":{"rendered":"Having a Baby with Colic"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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For the first two weeks of Levi\u2019s life, Daniel and I looked at each other, shook our heads in disbelief, and said, \u201cNow THIS is an easy baby.\u201d We remembered how hard it was when James was a newborn. He was perfect in every way and we loved him like crazy\u2026but he never slept. I remember friends and family would visit and ask, \u201cSo is he just sleeping \u2018round the clock?\u201d No, nooo, I\u2019d say, not even close. James came out of the birth canal wide awake and ready to see the sites of life. But Levi\u2014Levi didn\u2019t even open his eyes for the first two days. He didn\u2019t fuss, didn\u2019t seem to need much at all\u2014he just slept. He didn\u2019t even cry in the car, like James always had. Daniel and I were so surprised, so happily, happily surprised. Relieved even! By the time he was a week and a half, still a sleepy little lamb, we really thought we had it made in the shade. Sure he projectile vomited every day, but his brother spit up all the time, too, and as with any symptom you google, it could<\/em> be normal (or an immediate medical emergency\u2026but probably normal\u2026). And then. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Right around the two-and-a-half-week mark, it all changed. Levi was awake\u2014and he wasn\u2019t happy about it. It was like he wanted nothing more than to sleep but he just couldn\u2019t bring himself to do it. He\u2019d start to drift off and then his body would fight desperately to hold on to alertness. It was like we were witnessing his mind and his body wrestle. Suddenly he could not sleep unless he was in our arms, which wasn\u2019t that out of the norm for us, since James wanted to be held, too. He was a newborn after all. But the holding became more and more of a constant, urgent need. He began crying uncontrollably, inconsolable for most of the day, every day. He\u2019d pull his legs up to his chest and writhe in discomfort. The projectile vomiting continued. Nothing soothed him. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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So we changed formulas, to something gentler. It took half a week\u2014maybe more\u2014to take effect, but slowly he stopped throwing up. He seemed to be in less discomfort after he ate. But the crying didn\u2019t stop. We went to the doctor for his one month well visit. We love our pediatrician. She\u2019s been our doctor for the past two years with James. And when Daniel told her all that was happening with Levi she nodded, understanding, and said, \u201cIt sounds to me like classic colic.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Colic. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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I can\u2019t tell you how many times I found myself, at 3am, googling, \u201cHow to tell if my baby has colic.\u201d In my family, colic is talked about like a living nightmare, like a disease you pray you don\u2019t get. My brother was colicky. My niece, too. This cousin, that cousin, so-and-so\u2019s sister\u2019s son. Colic is what I feared. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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And yet, hearing the pediatrician say it was oddly calming. Validating. It relieved me to know that likely nothing more was the matter with our baby. For a week I\u2019d asked Daniel repeatedly, \u201cWhat if he has something wrong? Like really wrong<\/em>.\u201d We wondered. And of course, there is always worse. So when the doctor said colic, I was reassured that no, fortunately, it wasn\u2019t worse. It was just a challenge that we\u2019d make it through. She told us it tends to last 3 or 4 months, that it usually peaks at 6 weeks, that there are a lot of things people will recommend trying, but from her experience, sometimes babies just, well, cry for 3\u2026maybe 6\u2026months. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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We started giving him a probiotic and these colic drops that stain everything I own. I have discovered that everything I own is light colored. I don\u2019t know if either works because he\u2019s still crying, but one thing they do<\/em> do, is make me feel like I\u2019m trying. And that\u2019s something. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The one thing that seems to help is bouncing him on the exercise ball. He likes to be cradled and bounced vigorously. He still might fuss and cry a little but the screaming usually stops. We have an upstairs ball and a downstairs ball and my vertebrae are smashed to dust, but at least there is something we can do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Daniel and I are essentially passing him back and forth between us, holding him and bouncing him for almost all of his sleep because if we don\u2019t (and we\u2019ve tried), he will cry to seemingly no end. Daniel takes the first shift of the night, until 3am, and then I get up with him. On a good day, Levi will do one period of sleep of 2-3 hours at the beginning of the night, which is an improvement from a month ago. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Overall he is trending in a better direction. He has less periods of intense crying and more ability to de escalate. But Christmas Eve was a low point. We were at my parents and didn\u2019t have the precious exercise ball, so when he started to get upset, he couldn\u2019t stop. We tried walking, running, jumping, rocking, but nothing could calm him so we had to leave early and the heartbreaking ride home with one son screaming and the other blocking his ears and quietly singing to himself was a low point in this parenting experience. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So as it turns out, colic is<\/em> a living nightmare. That’s the way it feels. It\u2019s impossible to imagine how stressful it is without experiencing it, and I know that now. The shrieking and crying, the powerless feeling of not being able to soothe your precious tiny baby, the 24 hours a day of it and not knowing if or when it will end…it’s hard. It’s isolating. I’ve talked to other moms who have been diagnosed as having PTSD after going through particularly bad colic, and I can understand why. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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It might be a bit easier if we weren\u2019t also trying to care for and engage with a two-year-old, or if we weren\u2019t in a pandemic where no one can really come over and help or just distract us from the crying, but hey, nobody said it would be easy. And really, it\u2019s all going to be OK. All of this is survivable. If nothing else, it brings Daniel and me even closer. There\u2019s not a day that goes by where I don\u2019t look at him and think, oh thank God for you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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We\u2019re still hanging in there, living fiercely in the present moment, one moment at a time, and not thinking ahead because that only creates anxiety. We\u2019re tired. Sometimes it feels like my body is pumping out adrenaline and cortisol nonstop. I have had some incredibly low moments where I really feel incapable of being a mom in this situation, at least the kind of mom I want to be. I wish I had endless patience and compassion but there are times where I just can\u2019t take the screaming anymore and hand him off to Daniel and head to the basement and cry. But as bad as it is, I\u2019m not hopeless. I think things are improving. It\u2019s the gift of the second child: knowing that nothing lasts forever. And listen, there\u2019s still a whole lotta joy around here. This is what it is to be a parent. I will do anything\u2014everything\u2014for these tiny, unbelievably lovable beings we made, even if that means I lose sleep and many, many brain cells in the process :) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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